Tis the season to be X44

Blackheath Literary Institution

Books bought

Lit.

Unbelievable (AND inconsistent...!!)

As seen in Stoke Newington.

Found, at suburban rail station book-swap*

* also, winner of the Austin 'Danger' Powers Award for best subheading/author-name combo (EVER!!!)

Top tip

Don't fall over.

- woman to husband, outside the Coliseum

One for the writers

Overheard in a coffee shop

They got pregnant - not 'accidentally', but... unexpectedly.

- anon.

Overheard

from the fitting rooms at Bluewater:

Careful with Humpty Dumpty. You don't want to break him!

Tough crit

On the train, last night, a garbage man tried to throw away my notebook.

Seen (on front of T-shirt)

Don't follow me... I'm lost

Seen - job advert

We are looking for the successful individual to have:

• Creative

• Good command of the English Language

[With thanks to DS Hilton, Esq.]

Economics (of) humour

Price: £2.25

Also seen, last afternoon

AMBULANCE - patient transport service

Well... yes.

Seen, on a pub toilet wall

It hurts because you love her, no that's gonorreagh

For the record, gonorreagh [sic.] is not a town near Belfast. I checked.

Short cuts

My school library, I discovered today, has a copy of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.

But only vol. 1: A - Markworthy.