Dear Spotify,

Re your Mikado advertisement

there is no such word as 'mischeevious'.

Please tell your voice-over chap to get a grip on himself.

Yours, &c.

HUGE SAVINGS VOUCHER*

--
* £2 off with this voucher. Not valid first day or with any other offer.

West Country small ads

'Dispels brain fag'

[photo courtesy Mika Tennekoon]

Recommended reads (sic)

Nice one, Smith's. You tossers.

Manliest of the Match

And my Dove Men+ Care Man of the Match is... Dan Biggar.

- Welsh commentator, Wales vs. South Africa

Just how much should I let it annoy me

that in this pathetically simple advert someone couldn't even be bothered to format the '.co.uk' into the same font as the 'WH Smith'?

Answers on a postcard - addressed to my psychiatrist.

No. Just NO.

'Following The Troublesome Offspring of Cardinal Guzman, a novel set on a Greek island in 1940 about the eternal triangle that develops between a doctor's daughter, her fisherman fiance and a young officer who is billeted in the doctor's house....' WHAT?

Unbelievable (AND inconsistent...!!)

As seen in Stoke Newington.

Public Service Announcement

There's an advert out and about at the moment encouraging you to switch your e-mail wossnames over to Microsoft, because Outlook - unlike those corporate monsters at Google/Gmail - won't go through your correspondence and milk every second word for targeted marketing data.

I'm on Outlook [herefore known by the entire world as 'Hotmail', but whatever], and a little over half an hour ago I sent a mail to a friend in South Africa discussing my holiday plans for Christmas in Sri Lanka and his mother's well-being in Cape Town. I now have an e-mail - in my Junk folder, admittedly/amusingly - from an unknown South African travel agent, urgently inviting me to experience the wondrousness of Cape Town this December.

From which we learn:

1) that Outlook almost certainly are reading your e-mails; but
2) they're just not very good at it - otherwise they'd have noticed:

• that I've already booked my Christmas holiday,
• that I will clearly not be spending the festive season in South Africa, and
• that the bulk of our correspondence was taken up with the fact that Denis's mum's place in Cape Town has recently been violently burgled.

Marvellous

Less so for 'anatidaephobia' - though that's obviously a classic - than for the unfortunate picture-placement.

[with congrats to @benwakeling (who also has a rather witty background)]

Small print (or, A likely story!)

88% of 33 men agree.

- NIVEA

Last night's TV (2) - Cooking is hell

Also, did anyone else feel it was bordering on distasteful to have 'My hands are shaking!' high-adrenaline cooking-show ads in the middle of an award-winning war documentary?