Books I've actually finished lately: 101

The first rule of Sheep Club is you do not talk about Sheep Club.

- James Rebanks

Also feat. Beyoncé, Rajasthanis, and the number of balls a ram/tup should have.

(It's two, apparently.)

Books I've actually (re-)finished lately: 96

Have a life lived instead of a career. Put yourself in the safekeeping of good taste. Lived freedom will compensate you for a few losses.... If you don't like the style of others, cultivate your own. Get to know the tricks of reproduction, be a self-publisher even in conversation, and then the joys of working can fill your days.

- George Konrad

I actually finished a book today

for the first time in weeks.

Because I quit my job.

The lives of other writers

Or - Two friends record their recent experiences in the book 'business'.

William Brown, author of Supercinema: Film-Philosophy for the Digital Age



Howard Male, author of Etc Etc Amen

From Hartford to Harvard

you have to have the finances to match.

Marc Sidwell talks up the merits of the day job for the creative mind.

City A.M.'s Opinion pages are a place for thought-provoking opinions and views. These are not necessarily shared by ASH Smyth.

Favourite footnotes: 2

E.g., “Jeffy-Weffy Ringle-Dingle Ding-Dong,” “Jeffy-Weffy Ram-A-Lama Ding-Dong Dummy,” “Dumbfuck,” “Jefster-Wefster Dingster-Dongster Dickface,” etc.

- John Howell Harris, THE EFFECTS OF BEING REPEATEDLY CALLED “JEFFY-WEFFY DING-DONG” ON THE HUMAN RAGE RESPONSE IN SUBJECTS NAMED JEFF

Extra-curricular

The gangerman does pop his head in sometimes. I don't know if I've spelt it right, 'Gangerman', is it 'e-r' or is it 'a'? It is not a word we was taught in school.

- Martin McDonagh, The Beauty Queen of Leenane

Some half-dozen gems

from (the typically-beautiful) McSweeney's Thirty-One - Vikings, Monks, Philosophers, Whores: old forms, unearthed:

parchment is replaced by pen and paper, which is replaced by predictive text on Finnish cell phones.

- Darren Franich and Graham Weatherly, 'Introduction'

MARCI: I think everyone likes the penis. Lesbians just don't like how men are attached to the penis.

- Mary Miller, 'A Dialogue Between Two Maids in the Twenty-First Century, One of Whom is Skeezy: a new whore dialogue'

SOCRATES: ... It is not always the keenest eye that is the first to see something.

- Plato, The Republic

HEMINGWAY: I've been to every place I used. I'd seen the mountains in the early morning. I'd tasted the wine.

- David Thomson, 'After Citizen Kane: a new Socratic dialogue'

the goal of Socrates is not to answer a question, but rather to reveal that the preexisting answers are incorrect or deficient.

- Eds. marginal note

the letters are minute and bristle with serifs like little hooks (inducing a half-conscious discomfort in the throat-clearing reader).

- Shelley Jackson, 'Consuetudinary of the Word Church, or The Church of The Dead Letter: a new consuetudinary'

we hope you'll enjoy this issue, and that those of you who have recently graduated, or been laid off will consider McSweeney's for your internship needs. You will be valued, if not adequately paid.

- McSweeney's (per se)

Note to self

No one is obliged to become an author.

- Paul Fussell, 'Vanity in Review: the author's reply as a literary genre'

[With thanks to HD.]

Only in English - 12

... the considerable difference between being 'into films' and 'into film'.

Not-so-slowly downward

Perhaps the grimmest three lines I have read recently:

Careers at Faber:

There are no job vacancies at the moment.
We do occasionally have openings for work experience...

Writing job advertised [not a joke]

We require two writers to join our small team of experienced freelance writers and journalists.
Highly experienced article writers only.
Article lengths are in the region of 700 words
£8 - £10 per article. (Depending on experience)
Work from home
NOTE: Your written skill should be exceptional, our editorial standards are high and we are seeking professional people that are experienced and talented.

Seen - job advert

We are looking for the successful individual to have:

• Creative

• Good command of the English Language

[With thanks to DS Hilton, Esq.]

The potential of lost art

I just need a camera!

- DS Hilton, professional photographer

ES headline

Londoners Defy Tube Strike

By driving the tubes themselves?

No.

Careers advice

I am thirty-one years old and never had any formal ... training. I have had a different kind of training which is quite compatible... I have an understanding of people and I love what I am doing.

- Brautigan, The Abortion: an historical romance 1966

Railing

The intellect of man is forced to choose
Perfection of the life, or of the work...

-Yeats, 'The Choice'

Damnit, NO, I say!

Can't work / won't work

Here you see, are two kinds of work - one good, the other bad; one not far removed from a blessing, a lightening of life; the other a mere curse, a burden of life.

What is the difference between them, then? This one has hope in it, the other has not. It is manly to do the one kind of work, and manly also to refuse to do the other.

- William Morris, Useful Work Versus Useless Toil

The gaggery and gilt of a million years will not prevail... The poet shall not spend his time in unneeded work.

- Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Talked out

I know all too well that the problem of writers talking themselves out is real. But when authors refuse to discuss their current work, isn't it mostly because

a) they don't want to confess that they basically did nothing today, or

b) they were hard at work and yet know - rather angrily - that the general populace - somewhat enviously - does not consider 2000 words of (draft) fiction to constitute a full day at the office?