Showing posts with label e-mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label e-mail. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Fantastic

Attn  Smyth,

I am Barrister.Larry Martins, (legal practitioner/advocates) Lome Togo. West Africa.I would like you to indicate your interest to receive the transfer of US $ 6,million left behind by my late client Mr S. M. Smyth, a national of your country, before the fund gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge amount were deposited.I will like you to stand as the next of kin to my late client whose account is presently dormant, for claims. Please contact me at (larrymartins455@yahoo.com) for more clarifications. 
Hon.Larry Martins
(larrymartins455@yahoo.com)

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Public Service Announcement

There's an advert out and about at the moment encouraging you to switch your e-mail wossnames over to Microsoft, because Outlook - unlike those corporate monsters at Google/Gmail - won't go through your correspondence and milk every second word for targeted marketing data.

I'm on Outlook [herefore known by the entire world as 'Hotmail', but whatever], and a little over half an hour ago I sent a mail to a friend in South Africa discussing my holiday plans for Christmas in Sri Lanka and his mother's well-being in Cape Town. I now have an e-mail - in my Junk folder, admittedly/amusingly - from an unknown South African travel agent, urgently inviting me to experience the wondrousness of Cape Town this December.

From which we learn:

1) that Outlook almost certainly are reading your e-mails; but
2) they're just not very good at it - otherwise they'd have noticed:
  • that I've already booked my Christmas holiday,
  • that I will clearly not be spending the festive season in South Africa, and
  • that the bulk of our correspondence was taken up with the fact that Denis's mum's place in Cape Town has recently been violently burgled.

Monday, 21 October 2013

Utter bollocks

SIMON GARFIELD: I'm not one for writing my emotions down in e-mails, partly because I think it's odd writing on a keyboard, y'know, how much you love someone... I think you still want to send love-letters - that's the reason we don't send condolence e-mails...
CLAIRE ARMITSTEAD: But Hemingway was writing on a typewriter; he didn't write in handwriting.
SIMON GARFIELD: Oh, yeah, but it's still that human connection.
- theguardianpodcasts

The Isherwood section is worse.

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Inbox

You are entertained by kangaroos to an extent yes?
[With thanks to Monoganon, Scottish band]