Also in The Times (and speaking of stars)...

Kate Muir kicks seven shades out of Paul WS Anderson's not-even-laughable Three Musketeers remake. Gallingly, she - or her sub - came up with the title I'd sort of wanted for my own review

All for one and one for awful

except I wasn't prepared to concede one for anything. (My second choice was 'All for nothing', but theartsdesk's platform, tragically, wouldn't allow me to award no stars.)

Less wittily, The Times goes on to award the film not one but TWO stars, and begins its subheading: 'Lots of stars, lots of effects...' Double-clannnnggg.