Delights

An artist friend writes, concerning 'Bosch's Garden of Earthy [sic] Delights'...

Attention, please!

[T]his is important. Or rather, and to be precise, this is not important but the manner in which it is not important is important.

- Hugo Rifkind, The Times

What one looks for in one's Oxford history tutors

Chris Brooke ‏@chrisbrooke

@dsquareddigest @crookedfootball Also the chap who wrote "Isle of Dogs", the only dogging-themed state-of-the-nation novel I've ever read.

Marvellous

Less so for 'anatidaephobia' - though that's obviously a classic - than for the unfortunate picture-placement.

[with congrats to @benwakeling (who also has a rather witty background)]

Question

What is ticky-tacky? And why would one make boxes out of it?

InDefinition - 54

quantrum, n. all-but imperceptible hissy-fit

#addaletterbondmovies (also Mitch Benn's idea)

On Her Majesty's Secrete Service
Dur. No
The Man with the Golden Gunt
The Spy Who Loved Men
Liver and Let Die
Dire Another Day
Da View to a Kill
Quaint Um of Solace
Skynfall

#subtractaletterbondmovies (Mitch Benn's idea)

Tomorrow Neve Dies
Golfinger (director's extended version, obviously)
Casino Royle
The Spy Who Loved E
The Word 'is' Not Enough

Editors

The QI Elves ‏@qikipedia

Darwin's editor worried The Origin of Species was too obscure. He suggested a book about pigeons, as 'everybody is interested in pigeons'

In Kafka's footsteps

Of course, one feels sorry for children burdened by their parents with airy-fairy, innuendo-laden or just plain ridiculous names. But I can't help the suspicion that Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (from New Zealand) perhaps isn't au fait with the overtones of her chosen pseudonym, either.

Lovely line

One occurrence in both online and real-life dating was an inexplicable talent on my part for attracting vegetarians. I am not a vegetarian.

- Emily Witt, LRB

First: find your nearest centre

Because nothing says 'solid-gold hire!' like someone with a qualification in 'job seeking skills'.

¡Doh!

Punctuation thus becomes the signature of cultures. The hot-blooded Spaniard seems to be revealed in the passion and urgency of his doubled exclamation points and question marks ("Caramba! Quien sabe?")...

- Pico Iyer, 'In Praise of the Humble Comma', Time

Congo Free State

The clue, as ever, is in the name.

'Edmondo, my lahv, my lahv...!'

UberFacts ‏@UberFacts

The Spanish word for "wife" (esposa) also means handcuffs (esposas).

The Writer's life

Although Thom enjoyed the idea of being a writer, he found the writing part interfered with his life as a literary figure...

- Roger McGough, Said and Done: the autobiography

Or vice versa

Barry Goldwater - the unmaker, unmasked.

Tragic reflection

No poet's biopic is ever going to be soundtracked by MUSE.

Grand openings

Where did Herbert come from?

- Adam Zagajewski, intro to Zbigniew Herbert, The Collected Poems: 1956-1998

If Charlize Theron can't make your language attractive...

HEALTH WARNING
Try to hit STOP the second Charlize is done talking. If you hear what Piers Morgan says next you may very well have to spend the rest of the day under the shower.

How to ruin a beautiful book-cover

InDefinition - 53

withdrawal, n. the way Sam Shepard speaks.

Ugly words

funicular
praxis (also never knowingly used by anyone who wasn't a complete twat)
shawl

Fair dos

Thou shalt spell the word 'phoenix' P_H_E_O_N_I_X, not P_H_O_E_N_I_X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.

- Scroobius Pip, 'Thou Shalt Kill'

Self-ish

I love the idea of the novels of Will Self. It's just the words I can't get past - or the author, for that matter.

Meta-something

Missing conjunctions the past, present of American headline-writing

Favourite foreign onomatopoeia - 9

sphincter - Greek (ancient), the sound of someone desperately trapping an escaping fart

Kafka was a wet-pants

Kafka refused to put a picture of an insect on the cover of Metamorphosis.

- Elif Batuman, LRB

Only in English - 14

moot
adjective
1. open to debate
2. not worth debating

Brilliant!

Bryan Appleyard was educated at Bolton School and King’s College, Cambridge and after graduating with a degree in English. He was Financial News Editor and Deputy Arts Editor at The Times from 1976 to 1984.

- from BryanAppleyard.com

Top tip

Don't fall over.

- woman to husband, outside the Coliseum

Fair warning

For copyright reasons, it's essential you make it clear you're following in the footsteps of James Bond and you aren't actually James Bond.

- agent for Fleming estate, to Jon Ronson

High stakes in the housing market

So, give me your vision for the next five years.

- presenter, Location, Location, Location

(I remember when things used to just cost an arm and a leg!)

Pre-prandial factoid

The best time to drink Champagne is before lunch, you cunt.

- Harold Pinter

I think it's the capital C that really makes it.

[with thanks to @Pinter_Quotes]

DECREE: generic title for use on all memoirs here on in

Don't Let Other People Make The Tea

[with thanks to SG - who likes it as a 'meta statement' - and to my father, who probably would've used this title anyway]

Small print (or, A likely story!)

88% of 33 men agree.

- NIVEA

William Shakespeare makes silver-screen debut!!

The Last of the Haussmans

National Theatre

Release date: 11 October 2012
Running time: 180 mins
Director: Howard Davies

Starring: Rory Kinnear, Julie Walters, Isabella Laughland, Helen McCrory, Matthew Marsh

Julie Walters returns to the National Theatre for the first time in more than a decade in this funny, touching and savage portrait of a family that's losing its grip.

High society drop-out Judy (Julie Walters) is the aging hippy matriarch of the Haussman clan. The spirit of the 1960s still infuses her anarchic lifestyle in a dilapidated Art Deco house on the Devon coast. Recovering from an operation, Judy welcomes her wayward adult children Nick (Rory Kinnear) and Libby (Helen McCrory). Also joining the party are her granddaughter Summer, local doctor Peter, and Daniel - a troubled local teen. Lubricated by alcohol in the sweltering heat over the next few months, infatuations, festering resentments and disappointments bubble to the surface. Stephen Beresford's new play is a blackly comic portrait of the consequences of being raised by the revolutionary 'free love' generation - with a peach of a role for much-loved Julie Walters.

Screenwriter: William Shakespeare

You should see it because: Julie Walters is reunited with director Howard Davies for the first time since her Olivier Award-winning performance in 'All My Sons'.

See it if you liked: All My Sons, Collaborators, One Man, Two Guvnors

[verbatim from the Cineworld website]

Only in English - 13

still lifes
vs.
still lives

The truth about Mortality

Humdinger comment - second from top - on the New Statesman review of Hitchens' last waltz.