Books I've actually finished lately: 14

Ruth put a comforting hand on Albert's. He smiled, but he subtly pulled his hand away. Not because he didn't appreciate Ruth's attempt, but rather because he knew how many local rectums her fingers had been inside. Is it rectums or recta? he wondered. What's the plural? Perhaps tomorrow he would ride over to the next town and see if they had a dictionary. He would look up the plural of rectum. That would be a fun day.

- Seth MacFarlane, A Million Ways to Die in the West