Feminine endings

Because most/all women writers prefer 'em, apparently.

NB The comments section does include a couple of witnesses for the defence...

Since I'm sure you've always wondered...

[with thanks to Sandy Holmes]

Horse nonsense

Investigating the facts and stats of the HarvardX Ancient Greek Hero course, I note there is a 'Rules of Online Conduct' point explicitly banning the use of 'trojan horses'.

Game of Thrones spoilers

used as inspired crowd-control tactic by Belgian maths tutor!

(What have we come to...?!)

Equinimity (and other Kafka jokes)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” 

“I was born into servitude, and when I die, my feet will be turned into glue,” replied the horse. 

The bartender realized he would not be getting a tip.

- John McNamee, 'Kafka's Joke Book'

Bibliosophistry

Bibliophiles are not uncommon in Leiden, but bibliophiles made wise by reading are as rare there as anywhere.

- David Mitchell, The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet

Books I've actually finished lately: 18

Books I've actually finished lately: 17

Books I've actually finished lately: 16

Keystroke twins - 21

Rgr
Sir

Books I've actually finished lately: 15

Exegesis

True enough, poetry can oftentimes appear somewhat complicated, bemusing in its encryption, or even - perish the thought! - merely wilfully opaque.

On other days, though... see bottom-right.

Books I've actually finished lately: 14

Ruth put a comforting hand on Albert's. He smiled, but he subtly pulled his hand away. Not because he didn't appreciate Ruth's attempt, but rather because he knew how many local rectums her fingers had been inside. Is it rectums or recta? he wondered. What's the plural? Perhaps tomorrow he would ride over to the next town and see if they had a dictionary. He would look up the plural of rectum. That would be a fun day.

- Seth MacFarlane, A Million Ways to Die in the West

Turning Japanese...?

Two Japanese girls on a late-evening commuter train, talking rapid-fire native, and then suddenly, in purest Californian:

Why d'you even cayre?

Also heard:

passive-aggressive
centre of attention
Oh my God...
No, you cannot have this: you cannot be cooler than me!
I'm a vindictive bitch.

Internote

My Samsung Galaxy tablet (still?) prefers that 'the internet' be spelt with a capital I.

Like, as in Skynet?

Discuss.

Upon seeing Norman Mailer in my bedroom, Saturday

Tough guys don't generally write novels, either.

- Nicholas Edge

(Discuss.)

Calling Gavin Tempest!

The Mysore Anatomy Act of 1958 says that only unclaimed cadavers can be used for medical experimentation.

- Rana Dasgupta, Capital

[Who is Gavin Tempest?]

The punning (and also alliterative) pope

Look at the locust!

- Gregory I

On the lecture circuit

American literature is fine, but I feel it to be an irrelevance in a disaster area.

- Paul Theroux, The Great Railway Bazaar

WOW.

Fiona Roberts ‏@fillefi  1hMy favourite correction EVER (from Guardian) 'The original stated that Bradley Manning took Ellen’s selfie. In fact, it was Bradley Cooper.'

[full credit to Josh Spero for RT]

The wellspring

I know how you feel. Sure, it hurts now; but over time you'll learn to turn that pain into biting sarcasm which you'll use to hurt others.

- Rules of Engagement

Books I've actually finished lately: 13

He looked back down, read a few more lines till he fetched up on the word desuetude. What the hell kind of word was that? He closed the book and put it on the nightstand.

- James Sallis, Drive

Second best EVER title card

ANOTHER CURIOUSLY HUMORLESS
WEEK PASSED UNTIL...

- Frasier

Best EVER title card

NO ONE SAID ANYTHING PARTICULARLY
AMUSING FOR TWO WEEKS
AND THEN...

- Frasier